Friday, September 13, 2019

McCain-Schilling '08 archive from August 22, 2008


Dear Curt,
I'm paying close attention to the calendar this election. At the end of this month Senator McCain is going to reveal his V.P. choice during a speech in Ohio. I've read on the internet that he might be considering you as his possible running mate in the election. Is this true? You? Vice-President?

-Leryn in Paraguay

Leryn,

I'll answer your question simply. Did you watch the 2004 World Series? I'm sure you did, every good American did. They stapled my frigging skin over my tendon to hold it still. Are you f#cking kidding me? Do you think John Edwards or some dipshit senator from Alabama or something is going to do that for the nation? Puhhlease. I'm a straight shooter, I hate terrorists and I love America. Plus, lots of people have already heard of me. I'm a great speaker because I love to talk. I have lots of class and am pretty darn good looking but not too good looking (Obama). Afraid of getting out-yelled by a hairdo on Fox News? Think Curt. I have crossover appeal - the gamers and jocks, rare sock collectors... With my well-known knowledge of many, many things, Shondakins thinks I'd bring some well needed class to the McCain campaign. Women and minority votes only count half (last I checked). Plus that's not a done deal as women LOVE Curt. Minorities love Curt. I even know a few Spanish words some of the people from the campaign office taught me. Words like: Republicano en los medios mexicanos inmigrantes legalizados. Pretty good right? We'd lock this thing up in no time if Mac chooses me to be his Veep. Of course, if the Doctors can get me sewn up in time, I'll have to split Curt between anchoring the Red Sox rotation and running the country, but I only pitch every fifth day, so I don't see a problem.

-Great question Leryn, VeepCurt

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