Saturday, September 14, 2019

Curt's Tips on a Down and Jonesing Market -archive from 9/18/08

Dear Curt,

With all the market problems, I'm freaked out about my portfolio. I figure that since you are obviously a successful investor, you may have some tips for the rest of us!

Barry Lehman, NY,NY

Dear Barry,

I saw that the market took a crazy loss the other day. And now, insurance giants AIG need a fortune from the government to bail them out of debt. Look, I am so glad you ask, because I am a huge fan of the market and when I'm not gaming, or charity-ing, or playing ball, I fancy myself a pretty darned good day trader.
Here are a few tips:

Penny Stocks cost a lot more than a penny.
Last year I bought 3000 shares of SC Rew Ewe an up and coming tech company. I paid over 5K for those stocks, which should have cost me 30 bucks. (well, now they really are worth a penny)

It costs money to make trades. Last year I had this plan for buying and selling the same stock over and over again because the activity on the stock would push it up (makes sense, right?) but the 78 dollars I made on the windfall was offset by the $63,000 in transaction fees I had to pay to my broker. (Note to self: tell John MCCain about this - seems counterproductive for economic stimulus)

Always sign over power of attorney to your broker/banker/assistant/accountant - Thankfully Shonda's brother is my accountant, so I know I have nothing to worry about. He's in constant contact, he just called from a resort in Belize a few weeks back.

Don't trust a broker with the last name of Quinn, or O'Reilly or Fassi - I usually look for a more Mediterranean/Judaistic type name - those guys know how to "work it" better than the regular white people. It's in their genes.

If you want some specific stocks to invest in, drop me a line in the comments field and I'll hit up my broker with some questions. Can't really find him recently either, but I'm sure I will soon.

Gotta go, Shonda is out of underwear again - gotta change the wash...
Fiscally yours, -Curt 

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