Saturday, September 14, 2019

Curt's Krullers and the Starving African-Americans - achive from 9/1/08

Dear Curt,

Please accept my apology if my mode of contacting you will in any way offend you. I am compelled to contact you via this medium for obvious reasons which you will understand when we discuss details of my proposition.

Through this letter I am seeking your urgent co-operation and an opportunity to invest and do business with you in your country or any other country you can manage in around the world as my partner. I have a sizable asset to invest, I would like to work with you in doing business.

I am looking forward to your positive confirmation to enable us discuss details, which will include, my introduction,
Ms Mariama.
West Africa.

Dear Ms Mariana,

First off let me offer to help you in any way I possibly can. I have heard a lot about the suffering of your country - Dakar. It's all over the news here. Looks pretty bad. Starving people with bloated stomachs (how the hell does that happen with no food?) and you know, those fucking flies all over the kids. It looks awful. Like in the 80's with Estoniapio. Now that I have some DL time I look forward to exciting ventures like the one you are offering. Just last week I learned that I had inherited a busload of cash from some dude in a foreign country, he just needed my assistance. That deal is pending. I know that if you got this e-mail address your business is legitimate. Anything I can do to help the starving masses in Dar-Kur(that's what we call your country here), I'd like to do my part.

Just because those kids are starving African-Americans doesn't mean Curt doesn't feel their pain. There's been weeks when I've gone with NO Krullers from Dunkin' Donuts, because of my weight clause with the Sox. So, as a giving American and an ambassador of goodness I have arranged for a B-17 Bomber to airlift Rachael Ray and 6000 dozen Krullers (don't worry, not the nasty cream filled ones) to your country to help the children. Donuts are a necessity that all Americans have a right to, and I believe that the Dakar-Senegallers deserve that right as well.

Hang in there, help is on the way via delicious air-lifted lard and sugar. Those bellies will be fat for a different reason. Sorry, can't do crap about the flies, but I have a team of exterminator/scientists working on it.

Yours in charity,

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