Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Some Very Fine 'People'

Kurt, How can Trump be a white supremacist if he's so tan? -Kiera, Howell, MI

This is an easy one. Simply:
1. Despite a gorgeous orange glow, Trump is white.
2. Trump is the supreme leader and is superior to everyone

Using that simple logic we know Trump is white and supreme, so he's a white supremacist in the best ways!

Happy to help!


Thursday, August 10, 2017

North Korea is Likely Full of Liberals

Kurt, Does Trump want to bomb North Korea because liberals live in northern places? Did you know there is a South Korea too? That's confusing...-Deirdre, Dartmouth

Dear Deirdre,
North Korea is like if China did a bunch of coke. South Korea is cool because they aren't Commie pigs. All Commies are like liberals only worse. The more liberal you are, the more likely you are a dirty Communist.  It's a coincidence that North Korea and the Northeast part of the USA are both filled with Commies, Liberals and Feminazis like Elizabeth Warren. She took a pledge to Mao, Stalin and Bernie Sanders to destroy America by being Libtard Commies and providing high taxes so the homeless get mansions and hard working people lose their houses. That's how Democrats are wired.

I am pretty much a geopolitical genius because I used to be able to throw a baseball hard.


Monday, August 7, 2017

It Takes a Village

Kurt, Does it still take a village?-Mallary, Medford

Dear Mallory,
It could take a village sometimes, but when Donald is running the show it really only takes him. He's better on vacation than most people at work. Who needs media when we have Donald's twitter account? He reaches the people directly! We are living in a blessed time, thanks to Trump who just keeps winning. He's right I'm sick of winning!