Thursday, December 22, 2016

Is Kellyanne Conway Really Alive?

Dear Curt, 
When did Kellyanne Conway die? -Gustave, Paris

We, at Dear Curt, never judge a woman's work ethic or purity of character by her appearance. All women are people and beautiful in their own way. Some are just more than others and give back by appearing in pageants. Just ask my wife: her job is to cook, clean, beat away Rhode Island debt collectors and rub Curt's sore gaming hands. A woman is most beautiful when she is doing a job very well, like getting a saggy chinned reality star elected to lead the free world when even the polling numbers out of the Economist said he'd lose by 47 states. Now that's woman's work.

That being said, I can only guess Kellyanne took too much arsenic and went 'Madame Ovary' the day Donald said pussy grabbing sexual assault was cool and just locker room talk. She's not dead, she just looks pale next to the regal orange glow of DJT. She'll tan up after few weeks of tweets like this. Merry Kisses. -Curt

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