Friday, November 11, 2016

Trump's Cabinet, Facebook Thinks So

Dear Curt, 
I scrolled past an article on Facebook that said you were running for Trump's cabinet. When I clicked the link there were 3 pop-ups, one about a dog that "what he did next would leave me in tears" and I followed that one for a while... 

But I'm pretty sure the title of the article said you were running for secretary of education or state. Which one would you prefer or are you taking both?

I'm glad you've found work, at 4.9% unemployment, it's rough out there. 

Please tell me these new jobs will not affect your campaign against that liberal crooked computer emailing mouth breather Lizziebeth Warren. I haven't seen one Facebook article about her. I stay very news informed and that's super fishy, if you ask me.  -Trixie, Revere 
Image result for facebook
Hi Trixie,
For every link you follow on that site I get .0002 cents that I can turn into campaign funds, so hit it hard Trixie!  If asked by King Trump, of course I’d serve in his cabinet. It would be an honor to serve for someone with vast political experience as I get prepped to face off against Lezzie Warren.  I don’t think I’d have a lot to do as secretary of education, we seem to have that one nailed down based on the election results and the emergence of alt right.  Secretary of State is perfect for me.  I pitched in Canada several times and have visited Sarah in Alaska (v close to Russia) where we shot baby seals with RPG’s out of her helicopter while Todd and Shonda lube-wrestled on a bearskin rug back by the fire at Chez Palin. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alive or American.

I could also be Secretary of Defense.  Because of my service and brutal/brave injury while serving the nation, I think I’d be a prime candidate.  Let’s face it, most of these military heroes will look up to a guy who threw a baseball 100 times with a war torn, brutal ankle.  Let’s face it, that’s real heroism. Had we not pulled out that world series I would have had far less money to blow on video games.  At the time, the liberal doctors said I was carrying too much weight, but I proved them wrong by gaining another fifty and having zero bloody ankle problems in the last five years.

Seriously, with Steve Bannon on my side, I can probably be running Asia in two years, but for now my real focus is unseating that dykey windbag who is supported by mostly gay, brown terrorist feminazis.

When Bush was president I always had a job.  But once Obama became president, they said I was too old, fat and bitter to throw a baseball. I probably would have single handedly won the Sox another five WS rings. I obviously didn’t have the patience, intelligence or magnetism to run a video game company or talk about sports on tv, but I think I can be a tremendously fantastic United States Senator for the great state of Machusetts! #takingtheassoutofmass

Clicking on this Dawg will Change everything and leave u in tears.

(Look at this fancy, posh office, you paid for it sucker)

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