Sunday, November 13, 2016

Mike Pence Will Shock The Kinky Gayness Out Of You

Curt, 
When will Mike Pence start elctro-shocking the gays into republicans? Only 25.4% voted red. There seem to be homos on every street corner now-a-days. We could use them votes in 4 years. -Chad, PTown


Dear Chad,
Seriously - water cannon + car battery = end of riots and gayness. Let's face it, the gay can be shocked out of you.  Mike Pence showed up at his high school prom in a pink frilly dress, and look at him now, wearing bomber jackets and driving Harleys around?  That guy is all man now.  And his plan is to use electro shock therapy to cure homosexuality. Conversion therapy is real, and it works. 
This one hits home, folks. For a while, Shonda thought she was gay, but it actually turned out she was just repulsed by me.  Trust me, we breathed a sigh of relief and prayed hard to thank the Lord that my wife was just disgusted by me, rather than by men in general.  Wow, am I a lucky guy or what? -Curt
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