Thursday, November 10, 2016

Are Slaves Okay Again?

Dear Curt, 
Since we've taken Washington back from the liberals. It okay to own slaves again? I really need one. I don't even need a black; a journalist or someone who recycles will do. If Mexico gets deported (yes!) who's supposed to keep my yard trim and sweep up my used Pall Malls?

Also, is it Unchristian to scroll through all the google images of Melania Trump from time to time? Her Foreign/Arian accent kind of gets my jibber unadjusted, but in the #MAGA way. -Carl, Gloucester

Image result for melania trump bikini

Dear Carl,
The founding fathers were cool with owning slaves and I am too.  We'll keep just enough of the non-raping style Mexicans around to do our yard work, and kick the rest to the curb.  We'll have to build some tall ladders so they can climb the wall their families will be building.  (Then, of course we'll have to clean those ladders really well.)  
Don't worry, the Bible doesn't say anything about porn, or grabbing women by their privates. Besides, we need something to keep us happy when we're fixing 'Merica.  That's why God put women on the earth, as play things for rich white men. Except Shonda. She's like Mary. Pure as the driven snow. 

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