Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Will Alex Cora Get Impeached?

If Alex Cora gets impeached by MLB would he still be eligible for DACA? What's the trash can bang signal for shame? - Nancy 

Time to go back to Corastan or wherever he’s from. I see people advocating for Tek to become the next manager after they can Cora. I think they need someone who is willing to BLEED(from the ankle) Red Sox red to be the next manager. Someone who knows baseball, video games AND Jesus. Triple threat who can communicate with all players. Someone with a strong woman LIKE SHONDA behind them. Someone who has transformed his body from superstar athlete to couch potato/management in just a few short years.
No leads yet, but a name will come to me.
Love, Skipper Curt

Sunday, December 29, 2019

Jesusmas at the Schilling Estate

Dear Curt, 
We haven't heard from you in a while. Just want to make sure Jason Varitek didn't eat you. 

Hope you had a nice Christmas, not Kawanza. I spent mine praying for President Trump because he's being crucified like Christ because of Hunter.  -Your Friend, Evan Gelical

Dear Evan, 
President Trump doesn’t need your prayers, but he accepts them. I’ve been in the bunker, fighting the Christmas wars. We celebrate Jesusmas at the Schilling estate,  just so there’s no confusion with the reason for the season.
Meanwhile, Pagan Pelosi is probably sacrificing virgins to get the president removed by the Senate. The do nothing Dems won’t ruin my Christmas! -Curt

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

To Serve Trumpski

I know all the evidence points to President Trump being guilty. Isn't it good enough I just believe he's innocent?  Richard,  VA

I remember a time when the president was held in high esteem in our society. Somehow the Democrat leaders are tarnishing the office by attacking an innocent and stable genius. Did he seek help from our allies? Sure - isn't that what a president is supposed to do? Have good relations with our allies? I guess I just don't get it, but I am with you in my blind support of the president. How could we trust a black foreigner with Hussein in his name but we can't trust a Wharton business school educated white guy? This is not the America I know and love anymore. 

Hang in there Richard - Donald will see us through this tough time. -Curt

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Yaba Daba Donald

Dear Curt, 

I think it's pretty obvious the whistleblower is a Clinton. That much we know, Why would acting director Maguire even investigate the complaint if he knows Trump hasn't done anything wrong. Why not out the blower on Breitbart and club him in the face with a dinosaur bone Flintstone style?  We could make lil' Adam Schiff watch.  

Curt if Trump steps down, who becomes our leader next? Is it Melania or you? (I hope it's both of you!, your brains and her class). You've always been a great friend on Ukraine! 
-Yuri, Kiev


You can’t spell whistleblower without blow. They can’t stand that Trump has drained the swamp and they just want him gone. Nobody outed Obama as an islamofacist Isis member, which seems worse to me than asking the Ukraine to share gossip about Biden’s alive son. (I know there’s a dead one, but I’m not good with libtard names). 

Pretty sure Pence gets the nod, but I am ready to serve as his vice. It would be an honor to bash the gays and ladies alongside him! But this won’t go anywhere-because Trump is the top dog...he’s 100% above the law. 

Why the hell else would anyone agree to be the president? -Curt

Monday, September 23, 2019

He who seizes your dangling Crimea

Dear Curt, 
It's so obveous. Hunter Biden laundered Obama's billions money through Ukrainian oil refineries to secure uranium rights (Hillary) and build bombs for another pizza shop front on the secret pedophile island big government Democrat donors own but that doesnt appear on any main stream media maps. Coincidence? Obvious they're all in on it. WE 'RE NOT STUPIP. Hell burns sinners. 

God bless you and President Trump. Your both sent here from heavens angels.  Your proof jesus proof does love us even though we are all dildos.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." 

Believe in 3rd comings QQQQ. --Anonymous Terry

Dear Anonymous Terry, 
Thanks for the compliments. I honestly agree with all your points. I still eat pizza, but I bake them at home and don’t use any pedophile endorsed cheeses or meats. 

The Nukranians and Russians are being worked by Trump like a couple of Kushners in a Manhattan real estate deal.  I can’t believe how blind the fake media is to the fact that Biden’s alive son was doing business when Biden was Vice President.

Those Ukrainians have everyone fooled. They dangled Crimea our there for Vlad. What was he supposed to do? They then did business with the Vice President’s alive son. Evil stuff. 

“Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us / He who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks."

Stay in the shadows Anonymous Terry! 


Saturday, September 21, 2019

Donald Trumpski

Dear Curt, 

Does it really matter if President Trump asked the Ukraine to investigate Biden? -Anzhelika

Dear Anzhelika, 

Last time Curt checked, Russia and Ukraine were enemies. This just proves Trump is a master tactician. He can work with anyone: Despots, Nazi’s, Commies, Rudy...Just not those libtards in his own country.  Trump would have won both world wars by negotiating. Hitler? Trump would have negotiated him down to Poland and Austria and maybe around 4 million Jews. 

Best. President. Ever. -C

Thursday, September 19, 2019

One in the Hand, Two in Your Bush

Dear Curt,  

'Recently' at a party a man put his penis in my hand. What should I do? 

A) laugh it off cuz I was asking for it (pretty hands)
B) wait for the FBI to call (*still)
C) stroke it
Please help me Curt. You're a genius. -Debbie, VA

Dear Debbie, 
Men, unlike women like sex. It’s always polite and right to take care of that urge. Do you know that if you don’t touch it, it hurts? Who knows, that penis might have been connected to your future husband, so I hope you took good care of him. -Curt

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Shakey Wakey - achive from 10/14/08

Dear Curt,

I feel like this series is done Curt. The Rays are just a better team. They're hungrier. Infielders get after the ball, good pitching. The next will be the Red Sox 25th ALCS game in the last 5 years. Is it time to pass the torch? Am I a pussy? -Fat Lady, Weymouth


"The Rays?" Are we talking about the Tampa Bay Devil Rays here or the 1927 Yankees? Is Longoria Gherig? BJ Upton Babe Ruth? Just a year ago, hell 16 months ago, these retreads and AAAA players were already making offseason plans...now you think the series is over? The Red Sox are champions, and champions rebound. You are indeed a pussy. The Rays, are throwing a guy tonight who throws about 86 mph, which I could do three days after my surgery. The Sox are going with Wakes, who I know can strike some fear in the hearts of Sox fans everywhere. But hear me out, Shakey Wakey will be solid, and go 7-8 innings and the Sox will win the next three straight. Then they'll go and kick the snot out of Philly, and it will be Duck Boats and champagne for the Hub again. Hang in there, hit the bible, vote Republican and all will be well. Go Sox -Curt 

The Doctor is Always Right - archive from 10/10/08

Dear Curt,

Am I confused or are you pitching in the ALCS and the World Series THIS YEAR? I swear that's what I read in the globe this morning... Halle in Tampa

"Curt Schilling could have been ready to pitch in the American League Championship Series, according to his surgeon. Dr. Craig Morgan said yesterday that if the Red Sox had followed his advice to operate on Schilling's shoulder last winter, the righthander likely would have been ready for the postseason. "If the [team] would have let me do the surgery in January, he'd probably be pitching in the playoffs now," Morgan said in a telephone interview. Schilling, who turns 42 next month, missed the entire season after having shoulder surgery in June. The Red Sox won the AL wild card without him. Only 3 1/2 months after the operation was performed, Morgan yesterday described Schilling's shoulder as "phenomenal." Morgan wanted to operate last January, then said during spring training that the only way Schilling might have been able to pitch this season would be if he had surgery. Gill recommended rehabilitation and Schilling went along reluctantly because he was obligated under his contract to follow the team's plan." (Boston Globe)

Dear Halle,

It's not quite true. That's not what the article said, it said had the Red Sox listened to Dr. Frankenstein Morgan and let him do another frankensurgery on my shoulder when he said I should, I'd be firing 98 mph fastballs at Johnny Gomes' head tomorrow. But, because they listened to "sound medical advice" they thought I could rehab and face the Royals in June. It turns out that my Frankendoctor was right and there's was too conservative/stupid to do the surgery. So now, we have to sit and watch Dice K walk guys, Beckett clutch his side and Wakes float that "thing" up there and pray to Jesus it flutters. Otherwise, it's going to be a long series, or a short one, I guess. Honestly, I have been 24/7 in my home hyperbaric chamber and could probably pitch in the world series, if the Pansy Red Sox doctors will let me. Dr. Morgan has also said he could surgically replace my shoulder with a shoulder from a corpse and I could pitch tomorrow. So, I'm muling my options. Yours in stiches, -Curt 

Curt's Return - archive from 10/9/08

Dear Curt,

I got the excellent news that you are considering comeing back to the Red Sox for another season, or half a season anyway. Have you bounced this off John Henry or Theo yet? Thanks, -Nicollette in Malibu

Dear Nicollette,

Talk to Theo? John Henry? Really? Like what, they have enough pitching? Really, kind of funny to see a guy named Nutsack, or Hanjob pitching in an actual Major league baseball game. Though, if the Yankees were closer and that game meant something who would have pitched? Javier Lopez? Or that one eyed pitcher from Pawtucket? Get real. When you have the option of filet mignon, why would you order a grilled cheese? I mean you wouldn't, unless you didn't have the 20 bucks to get one, and we all know that Mr. Henry has some seriously deep pockets. Theo? Well, seeing that Theo pops over to my house for Thanksgiving dinner once in a while, I think I have 'Lil Einstein wrapped around my pinky finger. (Not the one on my pitching arm - injury possibility). So yeah, I think the Red Sox will drool over the notion of having me back, especially when they are working on back to back to back! -Curt